AKALA KO KAYA KO NA MAGALIT KA.. HINDI PALA..
I didn't expect that everything will just end this way.. I hate myself.. I'm so stupid.. All of a sudden hindi ko na nakilala sa sarili ko because I let myself driven by my emotion.. Wala akong nagawang tama.. I know everything that happened is all my FAULT.. and now I'm earning all of the STUPIDITY that i did, nagdudusa ako, which I truly deserve.. I don't know if there's still a life that in store for me.. I don't know where to start. because I know I can't change everything that happened..
I know SORRY is really not enough.. but I'm hoping it helps somehow.. And I know the fact that the WOUNDS that I gave to you will not be healed, and if it does for sure it will leave you a mark.. but i hope one day I can cover those marks..
I can do everything just for you to forgive me, I'm very much willing to stoop down.. do everything just for you to forgive me..
But if you can't really forgive me.. then wala akong magagawa but to accept it.. beacuse I can't blame you if you can't forgive me, with all that stupid stuff, even I can't forgive myself..
Though it's really hard for me if hindi mo ako mapatawad..
I'M STILL HOPING AND PRAYING..
THANK YOU RIN FOR EVERYTHING.. I WILL NOT FORGET THAT YOU'VE BEEN PART OF MY LIFE.. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT DEFINES TO ME WHAT HAPPINESS IS.. AT LEAST EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE I WAS ABLE TO FEEL THAT KIND OF HAPPINESS..THANK YOU.. AND I'M SORRY AGAIN..
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Hurting so much that I cannot hide it any longer and a
river of tears flow down my cheeks to my pillow.
Crying until I cannot anymore.
Words the invisible knife that goes deeper with each
word spoken until it makes it through.
time with it’s painful intention.
In the end, what is left is a broken heart, sitting inside
depressed crying in pain.
My mind can’t stand the heart this way.
Thoughts fluttering in of the possible solutions all no
good to be thought; let alone acted upon.
My heart feels so weak it can’t go on; there is no hope
or support.
Time to end it, my heart can’t take any more and either
can I.
Hands shaking as they accept the mind’s command.
Taking slowly a few pills at a time, in the palm of my
hand and taking them to my mouth.
After that slowly taking a knife and slicing my will to
live.
Sitting in the corner in the fetal position, my face to the
wall and my back to the rest of it all.
Silently awaiting my fate as the blood trickles all over and my blurred vision sets in.
Could this be the end?
Oh please let it be!!
I can take no more.
Set me free of this life and bring my heart to the joyful
beats it once had.
Bring me to the place of ecstasy and harmony so that for
once I may be happy.
I cannot and will not take this pain and guilt anymore.
